Attention all units, we have a critical situation on our hands. The enemy, in the form of squirrel infestations, has breached our defenses and infiltrated our properties. These enemy combatants are causing damage and putting our homes and loved ones at risk.
I've been on the front lines of this battle, and I can attest to the enemy's tactics. They've been spotted chewing on wires, creating potential hazards for electrical fires. They've also been observed digging holes through roofs, causing water damage and expensive repairs.
For those of you operating in the rental market, be advised that these enemies of the state have been known to sabotage your operations by making noise in the walls at night, causing negative reviews and damaging your reputation.
But make no mistake, this is not a one-time invasion. These squirrels breed year-round and reproduce quickly. I've deployed 24/7 monitoring systems to track their movements and have evidence of their breeding habits even while in captivity.
As we continue to engage in this battle, I urge you to remain vigilant and look for signs of the enemy's presence. Keep an eye out for holes in your roof, small openings leading into your home, chewed wood, scratches on walls and decking posts, feces, and trees or branches that are too close to your property.
If you suspect an enemy presence, do not hesitate to call in reinforcements. Contact Black Ops Animal Removal LLC ASAP and let us take care of the situation. Together, we can win this battle.
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